Also a fan of XMPP, ejabberd.im is a formidable piece of software that pretty much just works once you have it all set up and configured. Source: over 2 years ago
It supports voice and video calls, and you use it on your own server (like prosody.im and ejabberd.im). It's also really simple to get a user to create an account on a server you run/a public one and.... It does not require a phone number or an email address. Source: about 3 years ago
Do you know an article comparing ejabberd to other products?
Suggest a link to a post with product alternatives.
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